This admission alone will almost always lead to a deeper conversation, all by itself. If youвЂ™re the one uncomfortable with the direction of conversation, donвЂ™t pressure yourself (or feel pressured.) Admit your discomfort (sheвЂ™s probably already noticed it), and explain the source of your discomfort. Let her decide whether she wants to talk about it. If your date appears uncomfortable with a subject, donвЂ™t ignore it because itвЂ™s important for вЂњthe progress of the dateвЂќ to вЂњgo deeperвЂќ. Celebrate every stage of the conversation for exactly what it is.Дeep conversation is about self-revelation and vulnerability, so discomfort must be managed. Rather, t he conversation leads you.В Whatever the level your conversationвЂ™s atвЂ“superficial, intellectual, emotionalвЂ“you need to accept it as it is. ItвЂ™s about civility, courtesy, and being social. At that point, conversation skills are not about вЂњcreating attractionвЂќ. If you know itвЂ™s not there, she probably knows itвЂ™s not there either. It means you should not to force your way into deeper conversation when sheвЂ™s not willing to, or uncomfortable.В If the chemistryвЂ™s not there, donвЂ™t try to manufacture it. That means you shouldnвЂ™t shy away from revealing more of yourself when the opportunity arisesвЂ“or when sheвЂ™s interested to know.

To engage your partner at whatever level sheвЂ™s willing and comfortable. ItвЂ™s about being aware and open to whatever the situation is in front to you. Great conversation isnвЂ™t about вЂњgoing as deep as possibleвЂќ. How deep, then, should you aim to take your conversations with women?В Authentic World just gave a fantastic answer to this question: You should simply take your conversation to wherever itвЂ™s at. Not to mention that I couldnвЂ™t shake off the suspicion that IвЂ™d actually be screening for nutcasesвЂ“which emotionally stable woman would pour their heart out to a stranger? (Of course, it might be a good idea if I were an out-of-job shrink canvassing for business.) Ask them, вЂњSo, what are YOU passionate about?вЂќ Sure, youвЂ™d get weird looks initially, but itвЂ™s just a matter of getting used to it and becoming comfortable. Years ago I read dating columns describing the following exercise for men: Walk up to people youвЂ™d never met before. Small talk is the province of novicesвЂ“skip it! The expert can get straight to the good stuff with any stranger. If you want to make an impression on women, make it your aim to have deep, meaningful conversationВ within 10 minutes of meeting a woman. They would jump at the first opportunity to connect with a man who can enter in deep, intimate conversation. Supposedly, women have tired of mundane, superficial conversations with shallow men. ThereвЂ™s this school of thought that says men should have deep conversations with women as soon as possible. IвЂ™ve seen him do the same with strangersвЂ“they were literally squirming in their shoes. вЂњReally?вЂќВ вЂњWhat makes you say that?вЂќ вЂњTell me more!вЂќВ Talking with him sometimes drives me nuts. He can always tell when youвЂ™re unsure or uncomfortable about a subjectвЂ“and he will grill you at that point. I have a friend whoвЂ™s good at reading othersвЂ™ emotional cues and mental modelsвЂ“ too good. Some men have the misguided idea that when on a date, revealing as little of themselves as possible will create anВ attractiveВ air of mystery.В No surprise that their conversations always run cold quickly.

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